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    April 02

    长大了……

    刚刚跟姐姐通完电话,她说其实她正在给我写email,一开头称呼是“小毛弟”,可是想想觉得有些不妥了。
    “小毛弟”,我小时候姐姐这样叫我,可如今“小毛弟”也快要成为一家之主了。
    毕业了,失业了,长大了。
    翻动过去的相册,竟然找到了小学的校友录,里面的童言稚语把我带回从前无忧无虑的日子——“未来的小博士”,“勿忘我”,“友谊天长地久”,“岁月在溪水边拾起闪亮的音符”……如今这拨人啊,恐怕很多都在为生机奔波劳碌呢。搞艺术的CYC,医院的邹大夫,还有不知踪影的HYH,北京的GXM,美国的DLX,等等。
    长大了,人更加自我了,整日为自己的生计、事业、理想忙碌。小时候很近的朋友、玩伴,一霎时不见了踪影,很多见面恐怕也无言。好孤独寂寞。
    长大了,担子越发沉重了,嗷嗷待哺的家庭,愈发老去的父母,干不完的工作,永远也追求不到的理想,常常让人发愁。
    长大了,跟朋友常谈起,多么怀念过去无忧无忧虑的日子,我多想跑到寂静无人的山谷呼喊:“啊~~啊~~啊~~带我回去吧!”
    失去一份纯真,拾起现实的磨砺。
    不堪回首,回首会越发孤寂。
    幸有同路人,聊为互相温暖和依靠。在艰难人生路上手拉着手,互相搀扶。
    很想长大,长大了就可以干了不起的事情。
    不想长大,长大了意味着太多的事情多到让人没法做好准备。
    但是磕磕绊绊的,人人都得走过来。
    有思考生命价值,或许是长大了的一种表现吧。生命的价值在哪里:出生-》成长-》成熟-》衰老-》消亡,同草芥、蝼蚁有何分别?我不相信个体轮回,生命的价值在于长存不灭么?我想恐怕是生生不息——传递和延续,是长大了的人才有能力有义务去做的。
    清明快来了,祭扫先人的同时,也不要忘了向童年挥挥手吧。
     

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